Perspective on Marriage: from a Newlywed

The probationary period is up, it is three months since I became a wife, did I survive and is this for keeps?

As I have said before, marriage has changed us for the better. Now that I am through the woods and off my bride 'P' plates, here is my not-so-experienced take on marriage (and relationships).

I have been with Ray for 7 years and even though I am 25, just married, no kids and still have plenty of freedom and optimism about the future, I have learnt a thing or two through my young life (which I promise we will never go in to!).

The base line of it all is there are so many nagatives and stressors in our everyday life whether it be work, health, money, etc but it should never change you or your relationships.

We live by some simple values which have resulted in us only ever arguing about who's watching what on tv and who's hogging the doona, but never anything of our values.

• What's mine is yours - the words 'mine' or 'you owe me' have never been in our vocabulary, everything is an equal field (we shared bank accounts after 6 months together).
• We are a team, no decisions, even for personal growth, have been made without considering one other and talking it through - we are there to support each other and always look in the same direction.
• Our family is #1 - we had a similar upbringing and want the same things for our family when that time comes (which makes it really exciting to plan for!)
• No money? No problem. Looking back, some of our funnest times are when we were low on cash and were creative with free activties. We both grew up without much and have worked hard to build our home and travel the world, but it doesn't define us.
• Communication - this was always our stregnth. We were best friends for a couple of years before we started dating, so while we aren't discussing his bad dates anymore, there is a good foundation.

I am sure there are some hard times ahead, but on the other side of that experience will be a stronger relationship. There are so many expectations that the spark in a relationship will be lit on full flame forever and if god forbids it ever dulls, the relationship is doomed. Too much emphasis is placed on negative aspects of a person or relationship or over thinking and reading into gestures. Love should be simple, not complicated.

We maintain our zest to life and adventure together, not getting caught up in the motions of life or losing valuable time, creating happy memories and keeping our eye on the horizon!

This isn't meant to be a 'how-to' on marriage, it is a celebration of one. The best thing about relationships is each one is so unique and different. In my group of friends not one of them is similar, all based on their own values.

Write a list of all the great things in your relationship below, maybe even ask your other half to do the same and compare notes.

Images: 1, 2, 3